And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
All the doctor said was why
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
