I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Randomize
