Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
