What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
