She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
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