how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize