Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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