Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Randomize
