please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize