The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
being pregnant is like rehab
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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