I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
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