Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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