Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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