Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
