There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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