Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
