i already hear my dad disowning me
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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