is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
