I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
