WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
