We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
