I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
