dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
