i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
