apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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