Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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