I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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