Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
