guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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