im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Randomize
