was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
