I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
