tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I want her autograph on my taint
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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