Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
