Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
