sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
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