I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Randomize
