I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
areolas are like halos for boobs.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
