my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
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