Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Randomize
