Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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