I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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