i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
