high people should be assigned attendants
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
