Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
