Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize