it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
