awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
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