I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
