every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
