some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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