he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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