Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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