i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
i black out too much to be "responsible"
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
