Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
