forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
