just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
