Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he's gonorrhea incarnate
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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