I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
